Words Unsaid

I'm a prisoner
Of words unsaid
Just lonely feelings
Locked away in my head

I trap myself further
Every time I stay quiet
I should start to speak
But I stop and stay silent
And now I've made
My own hard bed
Inside a prison of words unsaid

Not a prisoner of war
A prisoner of words
Like a soldier
I'm a fighter
Yet these words aren’t mine
Often I only say
What you wanna hear
Could you take it if I came clear?

No. Like puppet for you
Following every move.

I guess that's what I am
Scraping this cold earth
For a piece of myself
For peace in myself
It'd be easier if we all were same
If you locked me away
I'd have someone to blame
But these bars of steel are of my making
They surround my mind
And have me shaking
My hands are cuffed behind my back
I'm a prisoner of the worst kind, in fact
A prisoner of compromise
Run too fast to be old
Forget what I’m told
Ain't I a sight to behold?
A prisoner of age dying to be young
To my head is my hand with a gun
And it's cold and it's hard
Cause there's nowhere to run
When you've caged yourself
By holding your tongue
I'm a prisoner
Of words unsaid
Just lonely feelings
Locked away in my head
It's like solitary confinement
Every time I stay quiet
I should start to speak
But I stop and stay silent
You want a piece of my mind

To give you peace of mind

All you need is a piece of mine

I don’t want to give you anything

But I know that you’ll take it

You can, and you have, and you will

I tried stopping you before but I don’t try anymore

So I hide behind walls and locked doors

Not the same walls and doors that you’ve thrown me against

No these ones will just stay in my mind

But my mind just might leave me bihind

With the words that I can’t ever find

Real Talk

If you really knew me, you'd know that I'm terrified of open water, I've never been to Disneyland, and I like feeling alone. If you really knew me, you'd know that I hate the sound of crying, I discriminate the racists, and I fight the fear of flying. If you really knew me, you'd know that I'm more feared than I'm respected, I've never broken a bone, and I'm terrified of being rejected. If you really knew me, you'd know that I hate spiders, but I don't mind snakes. I hate bringing in the garbage cans, and I get chills when I hear thunder. If you really knew me, you'd know that I love the smell of rain, hate the smell of coffee, and have more fears than memories. If you really knew me, you'd know that I've learned not to get attached to things, or people, or dreams. You'd know that I love big houses and fast cars. I believe that money really can buy happiness, and that I've never been to the ocean. If you really knew me, you'd know that I am weaker than I look, but stronger than I feel. I have one too many plans, and way too little time. If you really knew me, you'd know that I've been to hell and back - it's not as bad as they say it is. I've cried myself to sleep, and I hate how dramatic girls can be. If you really knew me, you'd know that I want to get away. I'd go anywhere if I could. I'm gonna be an EMT, I hate when people hold grudges, and I pack a mean punch. If you really knew me... well, now you kind of do.

Ordinary World

He sits by the bus stop. Maybe today someone will notice him. His mother left over a week ago. She told him to stay here. He hasn't eaten in days. He is hungry, tired, alone. The ground is cold. His clothes are torn. He sleeps under the bus stop bench. He sees the same people everyday. And everyday, they pretend not to see him. They look at him like he's a criminal. But how could he be? He's only eight. He sits and he wonders why he is here. But things will not change, not in an ordinary world.

nothing changes

We see everything but beauty.
We hear everything but music.
We want everything but pain.
We taste everything but love.
We touch everything but happiness.

And then you open your eyes,
and nothing changes.

will you?

Where are you going? He asks.

I cant explain. I say.
When will you be back? He questions.

I cant come back. I say.

Why are you leaving? He wonders.

I can't be happy here. I say.

Will you write me? He pleads.

I wont. I say.

Will you loose yourself? He asks.

I will try.

Some roads never end

compromise

Almost There